Get Off My Lawn!: Who Invented That Stupid “Check Engine Light?”

My "check engine light" came on this morning.  I hate that!

For the millions of us who have no idea how a car runs, and frankly don't care to know, the "check engine light" is the bane of our existence.  When it pops on, our first reaction is dread.  Check engine!  Check engine!  What does that even mean?

I open the hood of the car and yup, by golly, the engine is still there.

When that light illuminates all we can think about is driving along the highway and having the engine fall out and on to the road, "CRASH!"  Maybe the light means the engine is about to explode.  Or catch fire.  Or just simply grind to a stop, you know, that grinding metal-against-metal kind of a stop.  In any case, it never means anything good.

And, guess what?  When you pull in to a service station to have them check the engine light out, what do they find?  Usually it is something elementary, almost silly.  Your gas cap was not on tight.  You have a directional light out.  Your tires are slightly deflated.  NOTHING to do with the engine, I might add.

Now I have nothing against these warnings.  But the red, glaring heart attack-inducing CHECK ENGINE LIGHT is way too dramatic.

I suggest that the car makers get rid of it, and instead replace it with an illuminated number.  You know, a yellow "1" means check your lights.  A yellow "2" means check your gas cap.  You get the idea.  It would be a lot more helpful than having us lift up the hood to check our engines (which are always there, by the way).

We have plenty of room on our dash panels for these number warnings.  Look how many things are on the dash anyways that we never look at!  RPMs?  No idea.  Engine hot or cold?  Whatever.

So I say" Get off my lawn!" and lets change that irritating "check engine light."  Stop the car drama now!

And my beautiful wife rolls her eyes.........