Dictionaries Literally Destroy English Language

This morning word came down that Merriam-Webster and Cambridge, two of the leading dictionaries in the world, decided to add to the formal definition of literally.

And we couldn't be more upset.

The definition now reads:

Literally (adv.):
1. in a literal sense or manner: actually. "The man took the remark literally."
2. in effect: virtually. "You are literally making my blood boil."

See the difference? The latter was added to reflect society's lack of command of the English language. So misused was the word "literally" that dictionary companies finally just threw their hands in the air and caved to the non-literal definition.

Shame on you, dictionaries. We're blaming Chris Traeger for this.